The why? Stop asking!!

The only question I’m asked when I tell people that we are leaving the country is why?Trump? Police? What’s the reason? I understand how important it is for us as people to understand each other, to pick apart the decisions made by others or even to give our personal opinions. I’m never offended by the question or the assumptions. It comes from those that don’t know us well or know our history; its cool. To be honest, any reason I give you will not sufficiently satisfy the scenario you have made up in your own mind. What reason would a black family, majority males, leave the United States on what appears to be a whim? The only legitimate reason is fear. When actually, it is fear that kept us here this long.

The United States is a bubble; a protective bubble to some. A lot of time and money is spent cultivating Americans to believe that this is the greatest country in the world and if we decide to go somewhere else, the opportunities so readily available to us here, will somehow diminish. The United States could very well be the greatest country in the world. It could be the country that provides the most opportunity. It could be the safest place to raise kids. It could be. But we can’t make that determination from within this well crafted bubble.

I grew up in NYC. I grew up believing that if I can’t make it in NY, I couldn’t make it anywhere. That NYC held the greatest opportunity for me to grow and succeed. And yet, NYC was not very good to me. By far the most growth, the greatest opportunity and the most success I’ve had in my adult life occurred here in Arizona. A state that I imagined was filled with hillbilly white people living in trailers, fighting over land owned by Native Americans and dragging Mexican people on the back of pickup trucks. Yes, that whole scenario played out in my head when anyone said the word, Arizona. Even in this new world we live in where information and pictures are readily available, I still had that ignorant vision of this place.

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So you can imagine my surprise when we pulled up to this state surrounded by beautiful mountains, at times fresh air and stars that appear so close you can reach out and touch them. That the people here are more diverse in their thoughts and in their religion than in their color. Much more tolerate than in NYC. But the most pleasant surprise was the opportunity to finish school, to open a business and to live in a safe place.

Could I have grown in New York? To be fair, I did leave NYC 8 years ago. Perhaps my growth was just natural, occurred primarily because I got older. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that age is not a factor. I believe that people grow from experiences alone. It just appears that growth comes with age because you experience more, obviously, as you get older. But think about the people that are still stuck in the same place, fearful of leaving their own bubble. Have they grown? Are they succeeding? There are times in your life when you have to move forward. And by forward, I mean on; move on. Granted, we move on more than most and not every move is a great one, but every move affords us the opportunity to have different experiences. In those experiences we fear less and grow more.

So why the move? I want my kids to experience more and fear less.

Why do I want you to stop asking?  Don’t spend your time wondering why we are leaving. Spend your time evaluating if fear is the reason why you are staying.

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